WASHINGTON—The United States Supreme Court was rocked by tragedy Thursday when the judicial branch’s longtime sidekick, Kid Justice, was brutally murdered by the nefarious Dr. Contempto.Kid Justice, who sources confirmed was the alter ego of mild-mannered Supreme Court fellow Jimmy Randall, reportedly vaulted through the air and intercepted a missile launched by Dr. Contempto in mid-flight, selflessly sacrificing his life to save Chief Justice John Roberts from certain death.
“We are saddened to report that, at approximately 11:35 a.m., Washington’s beloved Kid Justice was pronounced dead,” said D.C. Chief of Police Seamus O’Herlihy. “The missile that struck the teen guardian was more powerful than the Diamontium skin that had protected him from so many other blows, and his powers—encyclopedic memory of Constitutional law and a deep, abiding belief in the U.S. court system—proved to be of no use against the sinister Dr. Contempto.”
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